We are all good mothers...

After getting pregnant and announcing it, it became very clear that pretty much everybody I talk to, has some advise and an opinion about how I should raise my babies or handle my pregnancy.I don't mind really, since they do mean well... except when they use their "I know better and I cannot possibly be wrong because its a FACT" tone of voice at which point I get SO close to loosing it...
I started to wonder why is this so. Why is it that whenever I start a topic about my choices or ask for advise about parenting or immunization or circumcision or AP or anything on how to raise your children, WW3 invariably breaks out? And as it often does, it hit me one day at around 4am...
Because children and child rearing is one of the most sensitive and controversial topics around and one in which opinions seem to bear a remarkable resemblance to a belly button... everybody has one and all are different!!
And I really don't get it!!I mean these are MY children, MY way of life, MY resources, MY opinions...WHY on earth would someone pass judgment and present me with a "fact" without considering my options at ALL?Why would you make me feel like a bad mother if I choose not to breastfeed (or don't manage to) or if I choose to vaccinate or not home school?Do I not want the BEST for my children (and since there is NO "best" rules why is your approach correct and mine isn't?)How can you assume to care more about my children than I do? You haven't even seen my children, my house, or lived a day in my shoes... how can you present your opinion as the absolute-no-doubt-about-it BEST for me and the children?
So for the record, I AM a good mother and so are you!! And THAT'S an indisputable fact!!Why?
Because we all dreamt about our babies.Because we all cried when we saw the heart beating for the first time and jumped with joy when we felt the first kick.Because we all bit our nails right to the bone when we were told there might be some problem with our baby and we felt exhilarated with joy when the problem resolved.Because we all put our babies before us and in the end the reason we ask, the reason we share experiences and the reason we look for the "best", is because we all are good mothers and our babies are lucky to have us..
Just don't use that tone of voice when you advise or share your thoughts with others.You are not God and you can most certainly be wrong or it might be that your views and advise are not suitable for any given situation... and what might work for you, might not work for me.And for Love's sake, please, don't put down other mothers or mothers to be, and make them feel bad or unsure about their choices or parenting styles...Because at the end of the day its their children and their lives and you cannot live it for them... all you can do is provide guidance... gentle and open minded guidance and that's all...
T.