Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Count Down is on

Monday, 25th July 2005
Gestational Age 21 weeks
Time: 19.30pm
Place: Embryo Diagnostic Unit
Purpose of visit: Level II Anatomy Scan of Twin Pregnancy

I mean YIKES!!! Could they get me MORE nervous about this??
Only 6 days left... 6-frigging-days-left until....
Until what?
Until I get to see my babies?
Until I get told that my babies are fine, I am feeding them enough, they have all the right parts in all the right places?
Until I get told that no I am actually not feeding them enough and they are starving little skeletons in there?
Or worse?!

Get a grip Tina!!!
Ok mental check!
Had my last scan on week 16. The boys were doing great!
They had nice little brains, ten fingers, ten toes, rib cages, closed spines. Good weight, even measured ahead...
Did I screw up since then?
I mean I don't eat much nowadays. I have no apetite. I even forgot my prenatals a few times and with all the iron supplements I have to get, forget about getting any calcium in since every 4 hours I have to pop an iron pill least I wish to undergo a transfusion!!

I mean surely I must have done something wrong in those 4 weeks since my last scan, that would have catastrophic consequences on my two little ones!!
I am such a horrid mother already!!!

I am also highly hormonal so please excuse me while I go around mopping about my misfortune!
I'll get over it! I hope.

I mean... if there was something wrong, they should have seen it, right?
I saw logn bones and they looked long to me and straight... I saw brains with nice lobes and all. I saw hands and feet and everything. Babies looked... perfect!!
I mean, bad things don't just happen from one day to the next right?

Yet I am freaking out!!
This is the part where my hormone filled brain flips a switch and I go from "Logical" to "irrational" in a matter of miliseconds. You gotta love pregnancy!!
As a matter of fact right now, I do. This is my "calm before the storm" moment... where storm is my 3rd trimester, 7 weeks away, and calm is that I feel quite like a healthy human being again!!

Oh and before I go I decided that if no medical reasons arise, I will demand that I try to deliver my babies vaginally!!
I won't go for an elective c-section though my doc has been pushing for one.
I decided I am too young this is my first pregnancy and I do not wish to be cut unless I absolutely have to... I will give this old body of mine, a chance!!


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