Friday, July 08, 2005

Hubby so beautiful...

He came home at 3 like he always does, in a particularly good mood.
I couldn't figure oute why, because I have been hot, and gloomy and irritable all day, mostly because of our financial situation.
We are going to visit some friends who had their baby recently and I promised dessert. Only problem is, I have no money to buy them something.
However in my fridge there is a pan of traditional Greek dessert, with only two pieces missing. The thought crossed my mind that I should just put some pieces in a Tupper and tell them its homemade (hence the lack of a fancy wrapping). I mean... how pathetic is that?
On the other hand it will go to waste, as there is no way either of us will finish it before it goes bad...

But back to my husband.
So he came bouncing in the house and I "wagged" tail like a happy dog at the sight of him. I love my hubby...
He kissed, hugged and playfully nimbled my shoulder and then he plopped on the couch and fell right asleep.
I didn't blame him. He was up since 5am and drove a long way in our very old, without A/C, car, in afternoon traffic to get here... so I let him sleep while I went about getting my veal and mashed potatoes ready...

It wasn't long before I too was plopped on the couch right along with him, reading my new book (Incoincivable), when my eyes wandered and fell on his sleeping form, all 6 feet of him in his white t-shirt and white underwear... his skin, darker than mine, (we are often referred to as the chocolate and vanilla couple - not because he is A/A, but because I am as white as milk!) was in contrast to the white couch and white underwear... I loved his his legs, which are quite long, are covered in fine hairs in just the right amount. He does not look like an ape, but he is hairy... in just the right way a manly man should be in my opinionn.

One of the things I absolutely love about him, are his long, long delicate fingers. Not feminine delicate, but strong delicate... the hands of someone with just the right balance of romanticism and silent strength.
I also love how long his eyelashes are and I often wish our children will inherit them.
These are the eyelashes those Maybeline models on TV are trying very hard (with the firm's help) to achieve (but to no avail - sorry girls!)

His hair is dark brown. Not black! Just dark brown and straight and he has a full head of it. This is the kind of hair that says "I won't go bald until I'm 70!" and I like that too!!
His nose is straight but not long... just the right length. Its not bulbous and its not flat. Its ... just right!
He has dark eyebrows that are neither too thick or too feminine and are long, going over the entire eye. They usually rest in an almost straight line on his brow and I love that; it gives him a child-like apperance!

His mouth is small but with full lips and I love how he smiles. He has straight teeth! When he smiles, he get dimples on his cheeks!! So cute!
And then we come to his eyes, which are closed in sweet slumber at the moment.
They are a dark, chocolate brown and their shape is almond... not cat like! Just almond shape.. He is my chocolate man! And I so love almost milk chocolate!!
His eyes are "tender" as my mother once said. I love brown eyes because they always seem so warm, like hot coccoa... and my husband's eyes are just that... you could drown in them and they are big, big, big too!!

People often tell us we look like brother and sister. We have many common features. Our noses are similar, our eyes are the same shape, we both have the same long lashes (though his are richer) and our mouth and face shapes are similar too.
The say good couples look alike...

We have our differences. Some times it feels like we want the same things but have totally opposite ways of achieving them.
He is more reserved, less dangerous and more trusting than I am.
I will go straight for what I want and won't stop until I get it but I will change tactics to suit my needs and situations.
He will go after what he wants, slowly, kindly, in the same fashion, over and over again and then he will wait for it patiently until it lands right on his lap.
He is willing to wait, I am not. I want it and I want it yesterday!! And I will get it at every cost...
He is more willing to let things go than I am...

Also (and thats my only regret) he almost never judges me whilst I am more than ready to judge or some times to belittle him in my anger... But he takes it in stride and I then feel terrible about it.
He too has his outbursts, I am not a total bitch you know. His anger will flame and he will fly off the handle in an instant. He seems to think that every conversation is a debate he must win and its really hard to talk to him about things, especially when it comes to money (he is very insecure about that but a good spender). I must find the right time and place to make conversation if I want any chance of it going remotely well.

But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, we love each other, we are in love with each other and we will sleep, tightly holding each other.
I feel... empty without him and I cannot imagine my life without him. Its like he is not a person anymore but an extension of my own self very much needed and essential to life, like my heart or my lungs.

I sometimes wonder what the future will bring and I wish we will be together and pull through the tides, twists and turns of time and if we will grow old and die together, like my grandparents did.
The fact that my parents are divorced and my fear I have more of my mother than I wish to admit, inside of me, scares me to death.
I hate how sometimes I feel let down, when we are facing a problem and he seems to be doing nothing.. is he really doing nothing? Or is this brain of his working overtime to solve it, while I go flailing about frantically working on a solution?
I don't know.. but I know my mom was like that and she always felt let down by my father.
True both my husband and father share a more relaxed view of life than I do.. but what makes me think my view is the proper one?
At least I am willing to talk and sort things out... my mom wasn't.
But I do remember a time when they were kissing by the fridge and she looked happy.
Now she says she never loved him or wanted to marry him... and I wonder.
If that love could grow could over the years, will mine too?

Will I ten years from now, throw him out like she did?
I pray to God to give me the wisdom and the strength and everything else I might need to keep this love alive, this marriage alive, this family together, because no matter how different we are, I have a wonderful hubby that many women can only dream of or read about in Harlequins...
And he is good looking too!! (slight pot belly and all!)

I got really lucky first time around... how many women can say that?
I know my mom can't...

For the Love of George I would do anything!

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