Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Gearing up for baby!

I want another baby... we want another baby.

The reaction to these news is usually one of eye wide disbelief...
What do you mean you want another baby? You have two of them already!
Or, you can't even handle the two you have, why would you want another?
Or, you had the pregnancy from Hell and the recovery from the Abyss, why would you go through that again?

And you are all right... it's difficult, it's painful but... my family feels incomplete. Ever since I got the boys all I could think of was how one day they will be big brothers.
I didn't feel ready before but now I do... For a long time I tried t convince myself I did not in fact want another baby... I didn't need another baby, I had enough on my plate. I am raising twins and it has been extra hard with the boys' speacial needs etc.
But I am now 100% sure I do in fact want and need just one more baby... is this greed?
When I was struggling with my infertility, I prayed and asked for ONE baby... and God being all gracious took pity on me and He gave me TWO... and now here I am again, on my knees asking for one MORE baby... and I am not sure what the answer will be :(

I do know I don't want to go through the medicated route again so I will take the "prayer and hope for the best" route... God showed me the way last time by (literally) guiding me to my RE and I prayer He will show me the way again, hopefully this time circumventing the RE ;)

So yeah... we will see. Wish us luck!!!
If it's meant to be... it will be...

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