Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Psycho Bitch is loose!!

I suppose I should start this post by saying that last week I heard the heart beat and saw my baby in Ultrasound. It was the sweetest sound in the world...
My baby measured exactly 7w 2d and was 11mm long.
Everything would have been perfect if I didn't have all day long nausea with dry heaves... Its amazing that even the thought of certain foods or even if I touch something, I just about ready to throw up!! I don't really mind throwing up but this "in between" thing, I do hate!! Needless to say, I feel crappy!!

Now, this post is supposed to be about Psycho Bitch... I don't know what to do with her... I wonder if she had always been in me or she got "conceived" along with the baby...?
She comes out especially when I sleep and shouts and screams and punches people around and disturbs my sleep... And sometimes she comes out when I am awake.
She takes over my body and my brain and my voice and I (she) scream and yell and get all round up for trivial things.

Mostly I hate my husband and my mother in law.
Hubby feels "spread out" like thinned butter. He puts everything above me and is gone all day, visiting friends, running errands (for others) and I only get to see him 2 hours a day. He comes home at around 10pm, demands food and falls dead on the couch.
I am alone all day... Needless to say hubby brings no money in the house... However he will ask for things on a regular basis...

I am left all alone all day, especially if I am sick. Apparently I am too whinny... Well, maybe I am!
I am supposed to be pampered but hubby does nothing (except asking how I feel but not actually doing anything about it).

Today he told me again he will be gone all day. Yesterday he was on duty so I haven't seen him in 28 hours. I was waiting for him like nuts only to be told to have his lunch ready because he had to leave immediately because he promised a friend he would visit his new job.
I am so angry!!! He said its better to do it today so tomorrow he can come to the U/S.
Well, I don't want him to!! He is only interested in the fun stuff and he appears like such an involved parent to be when every time I am sick or not feeling well, he steps out.

I don't CARE if he can't deal with it because he is "too sensitive" or too scared!! He is a MAN for crying out loud!! He should act like a man. I feel like I am mothering him at times... And then Psycho Bitch jumps out and he complains of course that I am being a bitch... Well, DUH!! You are acting like a 3 year old! GROW UP!!!

Ok enough venting.. Psycho Tina is hungry... I need food!!!
I swear my stomach also developed a brain of its own... what is this? A pregnancy or the return of the Body Snatchers?!

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